Let me speak to the men:
As a man who has been blessed by the God of the universe
with an amazing, lovely, Spirit filled bride, I have to speak to something that
has been bothering me lately. Too often now I have heard of men, men who
believe and serve Christ, using God’s Word to bludgeon their wives unto submission.
The most egregious being Ephesians 5:22 used as a tool to chain her.
'Wives, submit yourselves to
your own husbands as you do to the Lord. '
Oh my, what damage can be done when men hold this over their
women. There are men out there, many I know, who use these words to control and
subjugate their wives. It feeds their narcissism and puts them on a higher pedestal.
I am not a pastor or trained theologian, but I know the Lord
and His Word is true, and, taken in context brings joy and peace, a direction
in a confusing world. But one cannot cherry pick to fit an agenda, create a
personal narrative or force one’s will upon another.
Let us look at the scripture that surrounds Ephesian 5:22.
22Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as
also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore,
just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26that
He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the
word, 27that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own
bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the
church. 30For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His
bones. 31“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Ephesian 5:22-31 NKJV
I find it interesting, really noticing this last night for
the first time, how Paul speaks simply to the wives (vv22-24) while explaining
to the husbands the reasons for these instructions (vv25-31.) Obviously there
is a reason for him to speak to the men in this way. . . .
Men, start with “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (v25) Nowhere are we told to
beat our wives, to deride, mock or hold our wives as if a slave. We are told to
“Love your wives.” Further, as we add context, Paul explains why he is giving
us this direction:
“26that He might sanctify and
cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27that He
might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle
or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
When you read the why we are to love our wives as Christ
loved the church, it becomes obvious that it is our responsibility
to lead her (and our family.) I cannot (will not) add to what this verse says .
. . it is especially obvious. And I am truly humbled when I see how special He sees our wives to be that he would instruct us so.
The rest of this is (vv28-31) what I would call the benefit
of the prior verses.
“28So husbands ought to love
their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29For
no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the
Lord does the church. 30For we are members of His body, of
His flesh and of His bones. 31“For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.”
Leading up to these directions, Paul was speaking to the church
at Ephesus and told them to submit to one another as well.
“17Therefore do not be unwise,
but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18And do
not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the
Spirit, 19speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual
songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20giving
thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, 21submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Ephesians
5:17-21 NKJV
I present this to say to the men (men I know well, men who
love and serve God) do not be deceived when the enemy says, “See, your bible
says treat your wives as slaves and second class because they have to submit to
you.”
Your wife, the one that God put by your side, is a partner,
helper, confidant, supporter and cheerleader. She is the one who loves you in
the way that Jesus does with all of your faults and dirty laundry and baggage
that should make you unlovable. I do not want to imagine my world where I do not
have my lovely bride cheering me on and encouraging me, allowing me in my “mandom”
to lead her and my family.
Be a man of God. Start by loving the Lord, then loving your
wife and family as you are instructed.
I pray:
Thank you, Lord, for your word. Thank you for waking me at 0200 and showing me this to share. I pray that we (me especially) can live as you will, in a way that glorifies and honors you. Continue to pour into us and lead us in your Spirit, showing us with each day how to better lead and serve our families, communities and those whom we may be an influence on. Let your will be done in and through us. In the precious name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
